I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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