No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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