your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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