i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
