i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
