Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
