i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
