Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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