Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize