would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
