Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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