just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
