my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
