people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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