why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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