he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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