Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
