yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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