just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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