you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
third nipple confirmed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
