tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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