What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
