Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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