HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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