I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
