she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
