I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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