Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
