Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
