Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize