dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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