everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
