Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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