I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
