just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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