I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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