a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Congratulations! We have a period
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