So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
