There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
