I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You can't motorboat a personality
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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