Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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