I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just gift wrapped bread.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize