Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
