And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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