someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
