If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
