Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
