wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
