Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
tell me about the fingering
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