nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
its liver damage thursday
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
