I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
