FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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