They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
