Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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