Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize