I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
