walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize