Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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