Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
