In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
