fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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