im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
