spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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