my mouth tastes like poor choices
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
