i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
