If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
