isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
