Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
