Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
