Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think your dad took our porno
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize