Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
