i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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