Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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