Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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