Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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