RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
