4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
love makes seman taste better
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
