THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
