Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
