hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize